Turning 57 on a Happy Note

The ole grey "Mare" might not be all that she used to be but I'm pretty darn happy with how I am now ! 57 ! Rollin right along I am and isn't it wonderful . And I have great cause to be so content in being 57 when realizing I am now ten years older than my dad was when he passed away at 47 .This ponderance on such a day puts a very clear and true perspective on my life at this point . I have much to live for to honor those I love who are not here on earth in my midst .And I do treasure every day .Even when I'm having a little pity party and I'm the only one invitedthere still is a big part of my spirit singing loudly ,"It's a beautiful life "as the background music .Now 57 isn't considered by Hallmark to  be to be a milestone birthday but as my friend and I agreed as we chatted this morning ,any number birthday is a reason to celebrate bigtime when one considers the alternative . And not that I look upon not being here to be doom and gloom as I will go "Home" at the time of my calling with a song in my heart but life is so full of wonder ,surprise ,joy and love ! And all of that is what is able to pull us through the dark times along with God's strengthening and  ever presence . So 57 . What is 57 really supposed to feel like ? At one time I may have felt that 57 was sort of getting up there .Gee it's almost 60 . But honestly I still feel like a pretty lively chick or should I say hen ? There's nothing I can't do (well that jiving thing still irks me ) if I want to do it and I feel strong ,healthy ,and ready to take on whatever might come my way . I may be single (no maybe about it ,I am ) but I have come to adopt the attitude that" I would rather be single than sorry . " (That's the name of a great book I recently read ). This chick isn't settling for anything less than I truly deserve . And we all deserve to be treated with gentleness,dignity ,respect ,honesty ,and having our feelings,interests,hopes and dreams fully supported in a loving way.So that's the name of  my tune when it comes to a possible future relationship . I still add things to my bucket list no matter how wild or big .Dreaming is so much fun and I really do believe it is good for one's well-being just like being out in the warmth of the sun. Dream big or stay home is what I say .And anything is possible ! Now there are some dreams I have come to terms with and let go just so I didn't get too depressed such as being a talk host like Oprah ,or a singing star like Roseanne Cash or the Prime Minister .And I realize that perhaps I will not pilot a plane ,be a racedar driver ,or drive a semi down the highway ,things I really would like to do but if I don't I won't let it get me down when I come to take tally of my life .Will I ever meet the Dali Lama or Nelson Mandela and tell them how they have inspired me ? Will I have a nice chat with Obama and let him know that I know he has a really good heart but others who can't see the forest for the trees  would fight his ideas anyway no matter how good they were for the everyday man,woman and child ? Will I ever learn to play the autoharp without having to look down at the chords all the time ? Will I travel the world and be able to take Oreo with me ? Oh so many things to buzz round in my head !      And I won't lie ,I do stress a bit sometimes when I feel time slippin away so fast and there's just so much left I want to experience .But I am reminded  that there is a time and a season and as long as I want to live to my highest good I will be led and what is meant for me will continue to come into my life ,happy or sad,as all is  part of our purpose on earth . So I've decided to take 57 and run with it ! Suck it all up and roll around in it as happy as a pig is muck . And tonight I'm going to Bingo ! Yes ,Bingo ! I'm going to do something I really enjoy doing but don't do very often . Don't care a lick if I win or not ......I'm just going to dob !  Happy Birthday to me !   And thanks be to God for my beautiful and absolutely wonderful family and circle of friends and Oreo and CoCo and my little red Honda that is going on 11 and still purrs like a kitten ,and my wee nest by the sea .Oh content is me !

A Soggy Soul

As my friend and I met up for lunch on yet another rainy dismal day she announced right at the get go that she had a soogy soul .And of course with all the continued wet weather we'd been having for days and days on end my first thought was ,"No wonder ,I'm sure all souls are soggy. I certainly know mine is feeling pretty spongy and damp ". And so it was really something we laughed off and carried on with our lively conversation between ourselves as well as with others who were gathered in comfy shelter from the elements and enjoying good coffee and tasty food.  Anyone there as time passed would certainly never have guessed that anything remotely near to a soggy sould would have ever been mentioned. Laughter and friendly banter prevailed and jolly farewells were extended as we departed the diner and headed off each to the remainder of our own day .  But since then my friend's words soggy soul have kept popping back in my mind .Not because she was down and all bluesey ,because she wasn't .And either was I . But amidst the going forth in life ,even in times of warm and enjoyable  fellowship with family ,friends ,acquaintances and strangers , in the midst of a thrilling or interesting book ,play ,concert ,etc. , or right slap dab in the middle of a lovely relaxing kayak paddle down a scenic river we can be experiencing a soggy soul . In the dictionary soggy is defined as spongy,wet ,damp,moist ,soft ,and heavy.   And why wouldn't we have soggy souls ? Look and hear what is around us . Fellow human beings losing everything thet possess to floods ,fires ,tornados and earthquakes . Our loved ones suffering and battling terrible diseases, no food in cupboards ,no heat in houses ,no way to purchase needed medications due to lack of money , jobs being suddenly terminated .,family members being controlled  through addictions . Any of these things could cause a soul to drown let alone just end up soggy !
And when our souls are heavy and soggy it's very difficult to even pray . Nothing that comes out seems to decribe this sogginess. We're all a mixed bag of emotions. Disappointed in ourselves that it appears we might be   lacking in trust and hope and faith  and we're just giving ourselves over to the darkness and forfeiting the promise of light , throwing in the towel so to say. We just seem to be doing a whole lot of sighing (I'm the Queen of Sigh) ,groaning ,moaning ,complaining, blaming , muttering , and a big batch of other 'ing ' verbs . But even in the midst of all the inging there is hope :  God hears what is really in all that inging .It gets ciphered through the divine airwaves and God gets the gist. All we need to remember to do is share all the gobbley goop with Him .Just get down and dirty somewhere with God whether it be while doing the dishes with your heart racing in anger ,on a park bench with a lonliness feeling like a ton of rock , under the covers and not wanting to come out and face another day of pain or grief ,looking in the refrigerator totally in angst over how to put together another meal for the children ,in a hospital room frazzled in fatigue from worrying and caring for a very ill loved one ,slumped  in the car enveloped in fear as to how to tell a spouse the job is gone , sitting in front of a tv crying tears of sadness as people we don't even know srceam in the horrors of tragedy or we mutter in anger and confusion as to the wastefullness we see going on around us in seemingly foolish projects and moneyeating ventures that do absolutely nothing to help others or our  planet that is in such dire need.  Yes such things and oh so many more need us getting down and dirty and giving God our uttering mo matter how primal or lacking in speech . It's never been about flowery or big words .In fact Jesus made it very clear that high falooten language or using all the proper nouns and verbs gets one nowhere . But it is about spilling out our guts just the way a child comes to his mother or father with sadness ,pain,anger ,hurt, or confusion looking for comfort .And we are promised comfort and strength . Psalm 23 tells us God will restore our souls by the quiet waters and that He will lighten our heavy burdens if we come to Him seeking rest from the labors of our heart,body and spirit.  Soggy isn't bad or something to try to escape from or cover up . It's a heavenly poke to spill it out to the The Great Comforter ,The Great Counselor ,The Great Helper . Squeeze out the heaviness and sogginess of the soul with a daily dose of getting  real with God . And then will everything be perfect ,solved ,go away . No not likely but at least you will know someone else is in the pain ,grief, hurt, worry ,the helplessness with you and cares !

To the Sea : My Love and Me

      Today my love and I strolled by the sea,
                  hand in hand ,
                            heart to heart ,
                                       breath to breath.

       There was no need for words between us ,
                  as the strains of the surf ,
                              slapping on the shore ,
                                            sang sweetly our heartsong .

        The dampened cool sand beneath our feet,
                   centered our souls ,
                                  holding us firm ,
                                        our footprints leaving our story.

         Only the quick shrill squawks of the gull,
                    broke the silence of walking as one ,
                               the returning quiet ,
                                      putting us back in step with time.

           The same river flows through our blood ,
                     our breath opening our heart to life,
                              tasting the salt of water's balm ,
                                    bringing us manna of Mother Earth.

            My love walks with me though he has no face ,
                     his smile and darkened eyes so deep ,
                             trusting in this place of love ,
                                    knowing God has it all in His Hands .

            We are just to walk , my love and I to the sea,
                       never doubting , being carried on the waves ,
                                 giving over to moments in time,
                                      awaiting the gift that will come on the tide .

               Again and again my love and I ,
                             will once more stroll to the sea ,
                                 heart to heart ,hand in hand ,breath to breath,
                           and in God's Time ,each other's face we will see .

                      
                                         

                  

Charging My Batteries

As I read along in scripture the days proceeding Easter I sense the longing and need of the people for a change....a refreshing .....a promise of something better to come .And I feel the same as I wait for spring to come in all it's glory and stay ! I'm longing to shed the dregs of a too long winter ,to feel the warm earth beneath my bare toes ,and the kiss of the sun not sabatoged by the relentlessness of the north wind. Not dribs and drabs of something but the whole deal .  At this time in the Bible ,I also believe the citizens of that time and place were also seeking the whole deal.Not just a shot in the arm or a quick fix but a whole new life of something good to believe in .....something to light the dark path.....something to hold onto ......something solid . One day their hopes are high after witnessing miracles of restored sight and walking on legs that once would not stand . Then they would listen to Jesus speak and what He would impart was very confusing ,beyond their earthly comprehension. So many hows? And no clear answers. And I have to admit that had been part of the crowd at that time not knowing what I thankfully know now I would have struggled bigtime trying to make one plus one equal two. I would compare it to being on a rollercoaster ride with the highs and lows. And there are many times as I read Jesus's words that I mumble to myself and ask of God why Jesus couldn't have spoken more plainly .  You don't go into a crowd of mes and thems and orate as Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. And where Jesus said He came from and where He was going and what others would need to do if they wanted the same to me was pretty darn headscratching . Sure if you're really desparate and are willing to just grab onto the first one or thing that comes along or if something very Godly has entered your heart and makes it very clear of the direction you are to go as seemed to have happened to the twelve and other disciples of the time then following would be an thing to do but then again we know that even those closest to Jesus had their moments of headscratching. Sadly I feel that the people never had a chance .....they were set up to fail . They did not  have the advantage of hindsight . Just as I long for spring's embrace it does  me no good to hear someone booked in weather wax on regarding this layer of atmosphere,that wind current , this or that system .I know what I see and I know what I feel . One day I'm in a sweatshirt working outside even sweating somewhat in a sheltered area and the next day I'm digging like a dog burying a bone in the bag of gloves and hats. I just need to keep my batteries charging so everytime the sun shines I plug in just the way those of scripture kept plugging in looking for the plain truth ,something to grasp that made sense . Thanks be to God, I can read Jesus's words and understand because I have the whole story in front of me with my Bible  and I also have my winterwear still hanging close by fot the days that just don't make sense.

Where Would I go ?

   Another promise of a glorious day ! Hurry snow and melt away  !

My devotions this morning found me in the Book of John where Jesus is losing many of his followers as they just can't get their head around how this man who is the son of local folk that many know can be talking about coming from Heaven and being the only one that can provide them with the bread of life and all the talk about having to eat of the flesh and blood just is way too much to comprehend . But perhaps the real problem is they are using their heads instead of what their hearts are telling them. They had seen all the miracles He had performed and most of what He said stirred up deep feelings within but accepting the Heaven Jesus and the Earth Jesus was the straw that broke the camel's back and I'm sure broke Jesus's heart.
Later on Jesus asks His band of twelve disciples if they are planning to best the feet also and I just love Simon Peter's response :"Lord ,to whom shall we go ?"

Peter's answer led me to write :
   
    "To whom shall I go to find a love so complete ?
      A total understanding and all my needs will meet ?
      Who will walk beside me when the path becomes too hard ,
      And pick me up and carry me if I cannot go another step?
       Only to You Jesus ,My Savior and My God."

     "  Where would I go but to the stable dark?
          And climb to the hill to the cross heavy and stark ?
         Where would I go but to the empty tomb
         And see that Jesus rose and won over death's doom?
          Only to You Jesus ,My Savior and My God ."

      "  There is nowhere else for me to go
         When fears and hurt descend .
         Only to your  comforting arms
         And  a love that will never end ."
         

Lenten Reflection : A Sea of Praise

                               A Sea of Praise
Early morning time and the sun has kissed the sea
I look out in awe and wonder and can only think on Thee.
It didn't just willy-nilly happen without a Master plan
So perfect ,so fitting , a blueprint oh so grand !
Man You made in your image and in love bestowed a will
But knowing  without obeying You ,the Great Design would
Never be fullfilled.
As still today we get caught up in what the world can give
And then find out we're still not content , it happens every time.
The pleasure lasts just a minute,a day , a month or a year
Then we're off again on another quest to get something more
Knowing full well it isn't out there ,but maybe this time we'll win the war.
Gracious Lord ,You sent us Your Son Jesus to teach light from dark
To walk in love and gratitude ,and not spinning in want and worry
But trusting what we truly need will be given in time and Heavenly manner.
From the first day to the end there has and will be pain and trials to live,
But we have a God who came to earth to feel and suffer all that is
And He's always right beside us as He has felt the pain we feel ,
Our tears He cried , our pleas He made ,our sorrows He felt deep down
All human pain He went through ,but that we forget so often it seems .
We get drowned in all our own tragic Good Fridays and wrestle with the darkness
That the Easter Saturdays bring , Forgetting  the grace and victory of Easter Sunday
When the darkness once again turned to light .
Sin was dealt a final blow on a cross of simple wood .
Blood was shed ,a life was given , all in the name of love
Love and a future of promise for me ,little me .
Just love Me and know Me , Trust and Believe.
Do what's right ,know My heart , see Me in all people .
He's still on earth and He lives in what we do and say
God is as close as our breath and our heartbeat
He's in the sun that kissed the sea this morning
And He'll be in the stars and moon tonight
He'll be in the deer in the fields and the eagle that soars
The birds that fly and the buds that open.
Heaven and earth are full of His glory .Amen. Amem Amen !

A New Insight

It truly amazes me how one can read a certain passage of scripture dozens of times and then all of a sudden one day see something or get an insight you never got before .Such a thing happened this morning as I was reading in the Book of John where Jesus barrels into the temple in Jerusalem and goes on what I would consider a major purge or de-cluttering (my spring-flinging sprees wouldn't even come close ) of all the tables and selling that's going on at this House Of God Farmer's Market. Now I know there are church sales ,suppers ,flea markets and such that take place in our community churches but I'm sure I've never shopped in the sanctuary or dug through a box beside the pulpit .  This big sale was in the Holy Place .Animals and birds everywhere . Feathers and dung soiling sacred griund!  Dishonest moneychangers taking advantage of the poor .I'm pretty sure had I been there I would have been right beside Jesus upending tables and letting myself myself be heard . I might have landed myself in the clink but it would have been worth it . There's no doubt in my mind that Jesus's mother and His disciples were hoping Jesus would settle Himself down and get a grip as most likely wild actions of this sort would definitely not be appreciated no matter how Holy based they were . And as would be expected ,it was demanded of Jesus to inform some sort of miracle sign to prove He possessed the authority to go on such a rampage . But quite honestly I would have expected Him to be thrown in a dank old cell  for such shananigans .So Jesus gives them something to chew on when He tells them to destroy the temple and He would raise it back up in three days. Of course this goes right over their heads as they have no clue that He is talking of what will happen soon on the Cross   so they just go on thinking He is quite deranged .Now this next part is where I see something I had never paid attention to before . After the Temple -Tantrum ,Jesus continues performing miracles and He's racking up a fair number of followers . But in verse 24 and 25 of John 2 it says,But Jesus would not entrust himself to them ,for he knew all men .He did not need man's testimony about man .for he knew what was in man .   Wow ! Up to this point I had always just assumed in my own pea-brain that Jesus being a humble and plainJane would be uncomfortable with heaps of praise being showered upon Him and he certainly never appeared to let His Greatness go to his head .But Jesus had no need for the approval or any accolades from people as all of His trust and confidence came from God .Everything he did was for the glory of His Father .There's nothing man could do to puff up His ego or even to keep Him on a roll of  miracles because none of what he did or said was about Jesus ,it was all about God . What a revelation for me today ! My life is not about me .My life and all I say and do  has nothing to do with me  but is to be  for the glory of my Lord . Oh boy ,does this give ME something to chew on !